Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Randomize