I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
