He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
