you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The air was thick with penises
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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