Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
