i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
