just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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