You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
worst night to have a conscience
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
