Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
