Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
MIDGETS
????
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
