idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
