Sry I called you an 8
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
