I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
