I want to make a zoo with you.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
