My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
