He is such a slut. More and more my type.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize