Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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