Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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