girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
