No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
