i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
