Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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