I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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