I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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