evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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