just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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