dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize