This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
