i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
