I looked at my own cervix.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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