Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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