Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
