if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's shark week go big or go home
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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