How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
