I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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