Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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