I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
