Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
