R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
