Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i now understand why vodka
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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