I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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