so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
