There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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