I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
