so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize