I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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