I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
