I'm drive I can fine osifer
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
