office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
