At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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