That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just had sex bonerless
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
