i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize