Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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