The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
