So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
