I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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