my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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