smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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