Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
