You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
