You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
