Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
